#Eloping

Eight year old me would be disgusted with twenty-five year old me. See, EightYearOldShanice decided to plan her wedding. I blame it in part to the fact we didn't have cable. She was about the baller wedding. Princess gown with a crown veil. Seven bridesmaids and he would have seven groomsmen. There would be two flower girls. One for my entrance and actual dropping of flowers. One to carry my train. Oh, and one ring bearer. There would be a tooon of food and friends and gifts.

Sorry, Miss Extra. But at least you married the right guy.

It wasn't that Dev and I didn't want to get married, it's just that a lot of people were invested in our relationship. Tbh the wedding isn't about you. It's about your guests. We had accumulated friends and family over the past ten years. There were a lot of people who wanted to celebrate this union with us! 

We had discussed marriage before and we even started planning but it became overwhelming. And expensive!  #ZeroToAhunnid The venue. The decor. The flowers. The reception. The food. The DJ. The dresses. The tux. I'm sure family would help but I didn't want to assume. Even if they did, we didn't know how much they would invest.

Sooo we put it off until we could realistically afford a wedding.

Until one night while we were tucking in Bella for bed. We had a conversation that went something like this.

Bella: I'm a Bayon and Daddy is a Bayon but you're a Wilson. Why is your last name Wilson?

Me: Yeah, Dev. Why aren't I a Bayon?

Devon: One day she will be!

Bella: Really?! SHE WILL?!

She immediately became excited! As Dev and I left the room, we looked to each other and simultaneously said, "We have to get married."

We figured we should save what we would spend on a wedding and use it toward a badass honeymoon instead. We decided to "elope" and then go on a cruise in September of 2016. It gave us plenty of time to save.

But God was funny and in May of 2016, I was eight weeks pregnant but no one knew. Dev and I had already planned to get married in September but I'd be seven months pregnant. So basically, hell nah to September.

It was the end of May and we literally had something to do every weekend until mid-August. We quickly came to the realization that we needed to get married ASAP. We decided that no family would attend since Devon has family in NY and they wouldn't make it in time. We had two weeks to get our shit together. 

Although we were "eloping", we didn't keep it a secret. I discussed getting married with everyone! AND BOI! I'm glad I did. Surprisingly, everyone respected our decision when I explained that money was holding us back from marriage. Everyone I talked to told me that they wish they had just gone to the courthouse. So many people had horrific narratives about their wedding/wedding prep. From people losing friends and/or family, going actual bridzilla, and regretting spending hella dough on one day. One woman spent so much that it's been five years and she is still paying off the wedding! Even after the divorce!

As a little girl, I thought that weddings were magical days of love not nightmares of animosity!

Initially, I didn't want to be judged for being non traditional. But after having these wild ass discussions, I knew that I was doing the right thing. We did keep a few traditions, though. My mom and I went dress shopping, I had a bouquet and a cake! Bella was even able to be the flower girl for all eight couples. *crying emoji* She was living for it.

Although no one was at the courthouse, we still wanted to celebrate. After the ceremony, we went to dinner with our best friend, Drew, my family and Devon's mom. It was perfect! Minus the whole not partaking in the toast. *eye roll* 

But I's married nah!



I'm plotting on doing a post about tips for a courthouse wedding. Just in case someone out there wants to save some cash. And a headache.