Sunday, April 28, 2013

If You Really Knew Me...

You would know that I am easily entertained. My odd sense of humor might be a factor. I think awkward situations are funny. I think it's funny when Bella is so excited to show me a Lego castle only to have it break as she walks up. Oops.

You would know that I have a weird obsession with boobs. I’m not a lezzy, it’s just because I don’t have any. I just looove boobs. It’s gotten to where I know what’s real, what’s fake, and what’s a damn good bra.

You would know that I want a boob job because of the statement above. And am seriously considering it. Hahaha My birthday isn’t until October so that gives you all time…

You would know that I would choose my phone over any phone in the world.
I am that person in the commercial everyone makes fun of. I am that #SG3 girl.
I had the iphone and it was shit compared to the godsend of a phone I have now.
I cried on the phone with the Sprint man when he said it was too late to exchange my phone.
It was serious.

You would know that I hate to drink alcohol.
There are just too many negatives.
The taste alone is sickening. If I can taste it. We're done.
Stupid high cals! If I'm going to use up my calories and sugars, I WILL NOT waste them on alcohol.
More than likely throwing up. Just. Ew.
Oh, and a possible hangover. Definite no.
Possible blackout. I would rather remember how much fun I had. Or lack thereof.
I'd rather smoke. Call me gross, unladylike. Idgaf. I would rather be high for a few hours [aka eat, sleep and giggle] than to drink [aka taste alcohol, take in extra cals, get sick and have a hangover the next day]  #judgeme

You would know that I have two emotions.
Happy and annoyed.
I’m never really sad. I don’t really cry.
If I do, something’s reeeally wrong.
Or it’s 2002 and I’m eleven watching My Girl or Hardball.  
I’m not usually mad.
People don’t anger me.
They irritate me.

You would know that when I say, “Let’s go shopping”, I don’t really mean it. I just like walking around the mall...or Target..or Homegoods and looking at everything. As stated above, easily entertained. I never really have an intention of buying anything. But if I do, that's a plus.

You would know that I might be one of the most passive aggressive people you will ever meet. I will never yell at you. I will just ignore you. I will give you an eye roll. I will stare you down. I will make you feel so uncomfortable that you want me to yell at you.

 You would know I’m not a regular mom. I’m a cool mom…right Regina Bella?

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