Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Not to be random...

....But let's be random.

Is there a thing as "acting black" and "acting white"? I guess there is because I get it waaaay too fucking much. The other day I mentioned to a friend that I exercised when I was pregnant to which I got the response, "You did that white shit?"...What white shit? Being healthy?

I don't really get offended anymore because I'm not being white, black, Asian, smart or dumb.
I'm just being... Shanice.

I attended a private elementary school where I was the only "colored girl" in my class.
Scratch that.
Pretty much the whole elementary.
Okay, there were only 75 kids but it's still relevant.

See how large I was compared to the other kids? Then I stopped growing.

I had the best teachers and friends because never once did I feel like I didn't belong. Never once did they refer to me as "the black girl"...although Sean Burkett did ask why my knees were white. I was eight and still learning why lotion was important.

Growing up, I listened to every genre of music. Britney, Sisco, Boys2Men, Christina, Good Charlotte...
I watched the movies I was allowed to watch. Which didn't include Friday, Menace to Society, etc.
I spoke the way I was taught. Like, what do you want me to say?
I dressed in whatever clothes I liked. I thought Limited Too was the shit.

As I got older, I went to public schools, where my speech, style and mannerisms were pointed out and clearly unexpected.

I would always hear, "Why do you talk so white?" I was starting to question myself. Am I not supposed to speak the way I do? My parents sound like me. My parents dress like I do. Were we doing something wrong?

I NEVER discussed my confusion with anyone. I just figured things out on my own. I went through every phase trying to figure out who I was supposed to be. What I was expected to wear. How I was expected to act.

That shit got tiring. I was all over the place. I wasn't being true to myself. I hated it. So I gave up trying to please everyone else and just started

Once that happened, I felt so much better. I made friends in all races, who acted and spoke all kinds of ways. And I loved it. I love having diverse friends and family.

 I guess what I want to say is keep your labels to yourself, 
be friends with whomever, and dress however.

 And if you're ever in this situation,
Refer to this page because you aren't alone.

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