I can't even

As of this moment, Bella is running around the apartment, nonstop. 

Pause. 

Now, she is bouncing.
 

Literally bouncing/hopping all over the fucking place. 

Where does she get this energy? 

And why does it linger around for so damn long?

And why can't working adults have energy like this?

The worst part? She's tired. I know it and she knows it. 

Earlier this afternoon, she yawned and said, "I think I'm tired."

 Those words were a saving grace to my sanity. 

But then...she didn't fall asleep. 

 

Now, I have an overtired, hyper, stubborn 

psycho child I need to keep in check. 

Which is hard. It's sooo hard.

She just won't sit. She just won't stop. 

Games, puzzles, crafts, cards.  

Yes, for like point four seconds.

I try television but just end up feeling guilty. 

So no.

I think she's lonely. 

That was my worst fear of her being an only child.

She needs a friend. 

I need for her to have a friend.

Just one. I don't even care if it's a boy. 

I just need another little person around so that I won't go completely crazy.

I can't afford preschool yet, although she is so smart she'd do amazing there.

And if I can't afford preschool, I sure as hell can't afford a second child.

Ugh, I guess my sanity will have to suffer a little bit longer.

Or maybe...one of her cousins will move closer.

AHEM.

Someone, anyone with a child come to my house for a play date. 

I have food, toys, educational stuff and whatever else you want.

JUST HELP ME.